Gobble Gobble Drown

Yes, I hold my beak up when it rains,
Condemning my Creator to helplessly hope
I don't die,

But I will.
Oh, I will.

Why would He make Me so poorly?

Tips on being an Easy Christian

...

Get them before they get you.

One sure-fire way to start a war.

We're all americans.

WWIII

it's gonna happen.
we'll all die.
it's just a matter of time.
don't fight it.
just die.
die.
DIE!!!

Worst Conversation Ever.

"Prithee, young lass...
Hathst thou travel'd far?"

"Farther than thineself,
Good sire."

Another day at the chuckle factory...

Sinful and Jaded (One rant before its time.)

That which holds true for you
Can never be applied to someone else.

Always count your chickens before they hatch:
One. Two. Three. Four.

See if it ever adds up.
You'll break your back before you're sure.

Just ask anyone you've ever met.

Tidal Whore-fare

Holy existential bullshit!
My hat has hopped from head to head
Claiming each as it's own.

Now the battle begins...

Test your batteries prior to commencement.
You'll be sorry if they're flat.

Jason Gets Exclaimation

your tongue may
be tied but
that don't mean
the loose ends
don't hang out!

Proof of Solid Ground

I've massaged the bellies of every kitten I've never seen.
It happened in a dream I dreamt I hope I'd have.
Where every flower shrub and tree was portrayed in a tasteful green,
Enveloping the spitting image of pristine.

But dreams die when dreamed on the fly,
with no temporal window to unfold.
Catalyzed and synthesized,
what's left, certainly, cannot grow.

I've lost all hope of gaining My Home,
On the hunt of some ethereal Goddess.
But once the sum approaches one,
My Soul will rest upon laurels of Solace.

Dying hard does not mean be Bruce Willis

Unseeming as it may be,
I apologize for my candor.

We've all been there:
once; twice; thrice.

If you want to ride my Llama
that's your own business.

Don't sell me out
to all those who are buying.

We've all been there.
Saying this; that; the other.

Tying one off isn't cool,
it's understandable.

We've all been there.
Don't get fooled by your foolishness.

We've all been there.

Fry your eggs on me...

One could say that we're all a dime a dozen.

One could say "We're all just dust in the wind".

But then again, I'd vote for "'jest'".

More than likely, we're all some cruel joke,
Some aftermath of slovenliness of cosmic Creation.
Plastered across the wreckage reads a sign
That says
"Don't step on the grass; that's reserved for the slime."

So don't put your label on me,
Put it on your videogames
And the CDs you try so hard
To keep people from stealing.

I'm not your whore,
Or my own, I'll take it
If you'll just leave me alone.

And quit breaking into my car,
You fucking assholes.